Fishing.

So, I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a few weeks now and while there have been a few bites, I’m not in the frame of mind at this second to really get out there (I’m a bit of a slow starter). What I do find interesting is first, well... just how many really beautiful, seemingly together women there are out there without a man.

Maybe that’s really not so surprising - women are different nowadays from the generation I grew up with and I think they approach things very, very differently than the women of my generation and earlier generations did. Still, I can’t help but think at the same time women today have a bit of a problem finding men in general to meet the standards they set.

If you’re looking for someone, what are the parameters you require the person to meet, to even get things started?

Thing is, anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you pretty much the same thing. That being, long term relationships bear little resemblance to what they look like at their onset. I’m not saying you can’t feel passion or have an attraction to someone after being with them for a period of time but, the person we are in the first three months of any relationship bears little or no resemblance to the person we really are.

The person in those first few months is us at our best, we are people without flaws in those first few months (at least if the situation has legs so to speak). After three or six months when that hot, can’t get enough of the new body playground thing wears off, you kind of start looking at the person you’re with through different eyes.

Basically, you begin to ask yourself if you like the person.

By like, I mean to say, do you like the personality of the person you’re with, their internal compass, the things that motivate them, their likes and dislikes. Is there a common ground between you? It’s a lot more complicated than that surface judgment a person makes at the beginning of a relationship... that’s just attraction.

Sometimes I get the sense some women are looking for this kind of combination of several things which are exceedingly difficult to find. I always like this thing in the ads where the women talk about adventure. I see women looking for adventure every time I watch an episode of People’s Court or COPS. Generally these are smooth talking guys who while charming, are leeches or the ever popular ‘dangerous’ guy. Dangerous could mean a bunch of things including troubled or whatever but, at the finish when things end badly, it’s hardly a surprising thing even though you would be led to believe otherwise.

Sure, I get it... maybe a woman has a career, makes some decent money and can support herself, keeps herself in shape, has a wide circle of friends and interests, like, why would she need a man? I mean getting a dog would be easier and they respond when you hit them with a rolled up newspaper. Still maybe if this current crop of women were a little more forgiving the way they were with dogs they might have a bit more success.

Men pretty much are like dogs after a certain period of time.

They need to be directed, they will generally sit in a corner quiet waiting for that brief moment when they get off their leash so they can run wild if only briefly and occasionally will make some kind of a mess or stink. That’s men.

Written way back on 6/4/07 and in the ensuing time, nothing has really changed.